Letter To My Younger Self (April 2013)
Dear Lewis,
Just when you think you’ve got everything figured out, life throws you a curveball. And that’s okay. It is up to you to decide whether to turn those negatives into negatives or positives. You might not realize it yet, but everything you’ve been through and will continue to go through has a purpose. And if you ever want to begin to understand that purpose, you have to stop letting YOU get in the way of YOU.
Too often people try to tear you down instead of building you up, but examine the source. Hurt people hurt people. It is okay to be the bigger person. Everything doesn’t have to be a fight and the sooner you learn this the easier life will become. You don’t have to get the last word. You don’t have to respond to negativity. You don’t have to show up to every argument that you’re invited to. That doesn’t not make you weak! Don’t let anyone take you out of your character. Your character is the best thing you have going for you. The resentment and bitterness that you feel won’t always be so prevalent. As you grow and mature as a person you learn to let some things go.
When it comes to how you approach relationships, your examples haven’t been the best. It will take years to figure out that some of the same negative things you saw as a child, you emulate. You won’t see it at first, but it’s there. Try not to repeat your parent’s mistakes and their parent’s mistakes. You are your own person so blaze your own trail.
Eventually you will find someone you feel that you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with, but it just doesn’t seem to work out. Don’t stress about it. (Easier said than done, right?) You have barely begun to figure out who you are, you can’t magically expect for someone else to know who they are on your schedule. Nonetheless, unrequited love is one of the hardest things you are ever going to go through. Keep a better poker face than I did. If it’s meant to be, it will be*. Keep your fingers crossed that if you keep doing what you’re doing that love will find you and you will never see it coming.
As you start dating, think about what it is that you really need in a relationship. What are the things you will accept, and what are the deal breakers? Take the time out to really get to know the person. Lew, you are seeking the right answers but you are asking all the wrong questions. Pay close attention and you’ll get your feelings hurt a lot less.
This is important, so read this part twice if you need to: The older you get, it becomes easier and easier to just be yourself. Don’t wait until later in life to learn that lesson. The same people who will talk bad about you for the choices you make, (that don’t affect them might I add) are the same people who don’t even matter. Your mother loves you. Your friends love you. And most importantly you love yourself.
As you begin to develop as a man, as you try to figure out what career path to take and what makes you happy, as you search for LOVE, the real kind, remember that you need only look inside yourself.
Love,
Lewis ;)
